Yes, No, Maybe
by Pollux Unbound
Summary: A senseless rumor is out, and rampantly it passes on from tongue to tongue. Byakuya, who hates lies above all, is not just to let it go, not when everyone thinks he's dating Renji, so he decides to kill the rumors in a different style. ByaRen One-shot


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach, only because some genius Kubo Tite does.

If anything would do for a start, maybe the fact that he couldn't sleep at night was something among a thousand things that needed to be addressed, definitely— badly. Resorting to tea, naturally, wasn't an option; in fact it would be foolish. But foolish or not, it seemed to him the most natural course of action to choose at the moment, considering anything would have afforded him better comfort. So he sat the night away, comfortless and grave once more, sipping what little amount of tea his appetite would permit —or endure. Yes, he was going to tell him. If it had to be his last living act, then that would have to suffice as a...last living act.

That settled at long last, it would be no different from risking a bullet through his brain—that he was sure of—and its being a perfectly safe proceeding was plainly bullshit. To be blunt, it might have been something more complicated; _attraction _perhaps. Or worse, love. And this sort of game was never a safe path to walk on, as what had always been openly implied—by morons maybe? So from the beginning it had been a fishy affair, so much that his presence altogether was nearly a constant reminder of what he had been missing in life all along. In desperation, he had tried to keep him at a distance, even bar him from the intimacy common between captains and lieutenants, and yet, believe it or not, success had never smiled down on him once, never had even batted a goddamn eye, actually. And to think he was Kuchiki Byakuya.

Hence, abandoned by fate's beneficial moods, he resigned himself unwillingly to another sort of occupation. He thought of him, Renji Abarai. This man, this loudmouthed, hardly mature man, boy—whatever he was—had from the start defied the nature of service Byakuya expected from a lower classman. Among many things, was there even a need for him to bring tea to his office while the captain slopped on his desk, apparently too absorbed by the present matter at hand, his work? And then the awaited tea arrived on his table, and the hands that brought it were no less unforgettable than the tea itself was shitty—if anything. Having been brewed by the lieutenant, it was horrible at best. In its value, though, it was superb. Excellent. Only because it was prepared by his very hands.

Really now, something must be awfully wrong.

"Would you need anything more, captain?"

And that was more or less what it took to send his heart skipping beats like crazy. This truly was unfitting for a captain of such stature as Byakuya's. He spoke, for it was now or never, do or die,

"Renji, what is this?"

"It's tea, captain, and your favorite flavor."

"I know, but what is this all about?"

"It's midnight, sir. You usually take your break at this time of the night, don't you? And at such time I regularly bring you your tea. I've been doing that for two years now."

Hah, as if there was the slightest necessity to inform him of that! Slowly, his wits unraveled themselves.

"Yes, but why do you do that? I have a butler for tasks like that. Surely, this errand is beyond, if not exactly below, the scope of a lieutenant's duties."

"Well, captain, I happen not to see this errand as less dignified than mauling hollows or rescuing souls."

He had a point. Renji was the sort of fellow who wouldn't leave the building where his captain worked, as a way of maintaining loyalty to his higher up. As such, it wouldn't be of any harm if he tried to make his upper classman comfortable, would it? Unfortunately, though, it was doing a whole damn lot of harm. Hell, he could count with the fingers on his one hand things which could be accounted for as more harmful than this game—whatever it might have been.

"Indeed? And you take honor in it as much as you would in purging a place of hollows? How interesting."

"Yeah, I'm cool with however you may wanna look at it."

Now that wasn't merely being casual or conversational; it was audacity.

"Alright. That being made clear, I relieve you of that measly routine henceforth. That's all."

Quite apart from the reaction the captain anticipated, Renji was now staring transfixed at him. Looking closely, he appeared to be offended, even hurt, in a manner of speaking.

"Er, do you find my tea terrible?"

"No, Renji." Byakuya lied. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie because the correct term would have been 'atrocious'. At any rate, Byakuya resumed, "Haven't you been listening? This sort of task is unsuitable for you, I repeat, and it would be unjust of me, as your captain, to allow this inappropriate practice to go on. You are dismissed."

As it was cracked up to be, having his pride getting trampled on by calm words, the lieutenant didn't move an inch.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

"And why so?"

"Because you'd just starve yourself at twelve every night. Your personal butler is asleep at this time, always, thus there's no one to serve you while you bury your face in those papers. As your right-hand man, I can't allow something like that." There was a steady aloofness in his voice which made his speech more resolute than it otherwise would.

As for Kuchiki Byakuya, however, he was facing a pit far more inestimable than the intricacies of Hueco Mundo. He fancied that his lieutenant was purposely making things more difficult than they could possibly be, for the hell of it perhaps. In due time, it struck him that this wasn't the type of complication he could find adjusted in the morning when he would wake up.

"If you must know, Renji Abarai, this is just step one in a list of a thousand items which I need to undertake to prevent the damnable rumors from spreading."

There, that which had been bothering him spoken at long last.

"Rumors, sir?"

"Rumors, Renji, ones with demon pervasiveness and which tell you are…"

"Ones which tell I am _what_, sir?"

He couldn't have been more clueless about this than he was of what the captain was feeling towards him.

"You really don't know? I was under the impression that you were constantly in the company of Rangiku Matsumoto and Hisagi Shuuhei."

"I hang out with them more than it would do me any good, but what exactly have they got to do with this?"

"Aren't they the procurers of Soul Society's latest gossips?"

"They most certainly are. However that may be, I hear no rumor about me that connects me with anything that might disrepute me… or _you_."

It had to be the most inconsistent piece of lie Byakuya had heard in the few hundred years of his existence. As this one was getting ugly enough for his discomfiture, the captain answered,

"The rumors are all over the town, and as for evidences, the incessant inquiries from the other _captains _should do well. Captains, Renji, expect them to know _no _better. Everyone thinks you're my _lover_, which, as it goes without saying, is a big fat lie."

By the time the captain finished, Renji's mouth had just about dropped eight inches to the ground, else he was halfway through dying. Moreover, he couldn't get himself to think of ways to murder Rangiku and Shuuhei. All he could gauge was the humiliation he had to suffer hereafter.

"That's bullshit-absurd, rather-and a fucki-a lie. I mean, gimme a break, man-captain, who would've suspected something so off the goddamn truth? You're not gonna chuck my services just for this, are you? It would be completely unreasonable-"

"—on the contrary, Renji, I think it most highly convenient and practical if a certain distance is kept between us."

Had things been different, Renji wouldn't mind the steely chill half as much and he wouldn't be enduring such a heavy brunt of misfortune. Of all things else, it horrified him that his captain was requiring of him something he appeared to be incapable of giving.

"I-listen, sir, this isn't the first time I have to suffer some serious emotional injury, but, dammit, are you saying I should stay away from you?" He said in utmost, earnest panic.

"That's what I said."

"Why? Is it because of the _fucking _stupid rumors? If that's the case, then why didn't you say so earlier? -in which case I could've done something to stop that stupid _shit_."

"Come now. Why so upset? My proposal only amounts to a few small adjustments which require the least of efforts. It's not so difficult for you, I'd say."

"B-but the tea! The newspaper! Your extra scarf! Who the hell would hand them to you when I'm not around? Just who?!"

"That's as easy as seeing. Don't be tedious now, Renji."

"But captain! You _can't _live without me!"

It sounded almost like a blasphemy. Normally, there's a limit to how much absurdity nobles like Byakuya could take. Oddly, though, he merely heaved a sigh at his lieutenant's inexplicable, inexcusable behavior.

"If that's how it is, _Mr_. Abarai, we can settle this once and for all."

"_Yeah_, but how?"

"Everyone thinks you're my lover when the truth is, the opposite is true."

"_Yeah_, I get that."

"Additionally, the rumors have gone so viciously widespread that there's practically no way for any of us to crush it down or force it to oblivion, not when everyone is delighting on the thought of you and I being _you-know_."

"_Yeah_, tell me about it."

"And may I trust that you are thoroughly aware of my displeasure towards untruthful news and hearsays?"

"_Yeah_, count on me on anything, captain."

"So, Renji, to dispel the untruthfulness of this rumor, what should _you _do?"

"Me? Er, you tell me."

Byakuya gazes at him with a seriousness that could make the commander ashamed of his bearing.

"Be my lover, of course."

For Renji, the phase of his struggle had gone long enough, alright. And on top of that, why should he miss the opportunity to give his captain more than the comfort he'd rendered before, when now, in the dark of the night and under the paleness of the moon, he could give him pleasure?

Why indeed?

"_Yeah_, now you're talking."

**END**


End file.
